She Would Have Been a Shaman

      About 5 years ago, I watched a primetime show (I don't recall which one) about shamans.  As they portrayed their amazing feats: extended fasts, holding their breath while heads buried in the sand, etc..., I remember saying to my husband "hell, that is nothing compared to my mom!" He agreed with me and we discussed some of her "feats." She has walked thousands of miles to see me, I have seen her place acid in her eyes and have no lasting damage (she was curing her "cancer of the demons" that had been plaquing her brain), she has fasted herself to the point of kidney failure twice, and yet here in the USA she is "crazy" not a spiritual leader of her community.
       The show awakened something in me that night and I truly believe it is worth investigating. Aside from the obvious question: who IS this "normal" person psychiatry and psychology use as their grand measuring stick? I needed to answer questions for myself. Here is my "short" list of questions:

Is she actually a shaman?

How is she "different" from a shaman?

Is there any merit to her visions and dreams?

Would she be "cured" if only her fellow man would leave her alone?

          The only answer I could come up with is Yes! indeed she is a shaman. Like a shaman, she had a "death and rebirth." Before schizophrenia "claimed" her she was prom queen, well educated, and athletic ( all normal by American standards); afterward, she was distant,stuck inside herself, and on a quest for enlightenment. Like a shaman, she regularly practices amazing miracles. I have removed her shoes after she hiked 1096 miles to my house, to reveal blackened skin and exposed bone. As I pleaded with her to allow me to take her to the ER, she calmly walked to my bathroom, grabbed rubbing alcohol from the cabinet then poured it on her feet without flinching, then calmly asked if I could spare a pair of clean socks. Her feet are still attached and they healed, so yes, she MUST be a shaman. She and shamans are one in the same no doubt.
       Many of her visions require interpreting.  Much like the bible (yes, the prophets were either shamans or schizophrenics too), but beneath the often garbled, non-sensical words, lie deep truths. I will "interpret " for you as I am her "student" if you will.
"All people are useful and desire to help"
" graciously accepting a gift is as important as giving one"
" truth is not real, only lies"
"Karma will get you 100 fold"
The answer is yes. Her visions have merit and are worthy of repeating.
      "Coexist," with all the symbols of the major religions, is seen on the bumpers of cars everywhere. My mom deserves that too. While she has had a few major crime incidents, I can whole-heartedly proclaim she was the victim, she is honestly rather harmless. Our judicial system would disagree, but her attacks were provoked, and her perpetrators warned numerous times to leave her alone. She truly is more afraid of the world than the world is of her. She constantly avoids crowds because she believes everyone is uncomfortable (because she believes there is ink she cannot see on her forehead warning others she is "psycho") around her. If people could and would accept that she may say or do things they wouldn't understand, a life lived happy and free could be attainable for her.
      A poem (yes, I wrote a poem) about my mother:

         Shaman Mother
She would have been a shaman,
In another place and time.
Her death and rebirth complete.
Control of the spirits at her will.
This world subdues her!
With its medicine.
Medicine Man she would have been
With her cures seen,
 through enlightened eyes.
They cure her themselves,
As she prepares for a long sleep.
Never to truly awaken.
Stop! She tells them,
Let me be!
But they won't.
Only through their eyes,
Will they see.
Her words garbled,
They refuse to hear.
Only the outward appearance,
She is their plaque.
Hide your children!
 She comes!
Wild eyed and crazy,
Weaving tales of demons!
Do not hear!
We have the cure!
You shout!
But you are weak ,
Refusing to listen,
In your ignorant state.

Walk on by!
Do not stop!
Fast you should run!
Take your seats.
Bow your heads,
In humble remembrance
Of your Lord.
Where is he,
When she cries out?
Won't save
Her wretched soul.
Give her peace!
Yes you can!
Leave her be!
Look away!
Let her live
And be free.
Because she sees,
What you won't.
     Only a poem could express what I feel. While my road to this state of acceptance has been long, I propose we change. Change our minds, our hearts, and our souls.