Finally! I have made it to part three! The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of bad news, guilt, worry, and downright emotional exhaustion! My mother was arrested and is currently in jail. She was released from a mental hospital the morning of September 26th and arrested on 5 felony charges and 2 misdemeanors that very evening. I discovered her arrest by googling her name when she never arrived at her home as was the hospital's release plan! I have run myself through the wringer these last few weeks and am desperately trying to pull myself out of my self imposed punishment. I have beat myself up terribly over these recent events. Unfortunately, my blog has suffered and I have postponed it and mounds of homework. I am in a pit! So, without further procrastination.......I give you part 3!
As I previously stated in part 1, I skipped class to listen to a classmates talk in another class. I am by nature very curious and had to follow. Tonight I read about a young girl at the center of a fabricated battle in California. The young girl is transgender and a right-wing, hate-group claims she is harassing other girls simply through her presence in the girl's bathroom. While I actually have experience in this scenario, I can attest I have in no way been harassed by the presence of a transgender female in the women's restroom. We all go in, get to our business, and get out. Rather quiet and hurried, aside from the occasionally noxious fumes from some stalls causing immediate gagging, in the women's bathroom! As a parent, I would hope my children would in no way be uncomfortable with a peer's sexuality or female/male status.
One definition of perspective is "what is noticed easily." Yes, it is easy to notice my classmate is transgender. She is still in the midst of transition, so yes, one can easily tell her current phase of transformation. I naturally am curious and had so many questions. I also have manners and kept quiet while she spoke. Expecting to hear more "transgender life 101" in her speech, I wasn't surprised by most of it. She began by asking how many in the room were parents; me and two others. I am not naive and know there are parents out there that refuse to accept their children as they are. Many parents cast their children aside for any assumed slight. Many more disown their children for something like coming out as gay, lesbian, or transgender. I could see it in her face. As she pleaded on behalf of any child that may be transgender, her eyes welled up with tears. She explained her fundamental christian family, had disowned her and her brother had gone so far as to get a no trespassing order against her. What struck me the most, was the altruistic love for other's like her. She pleaded with us parents to love our children no matter what path their life takes. For me, this is a no-brainer. Quite truthfully, my children could murder someone and I would assume that person needed killin'!
Sadly, I am the minority (at least where I live in the south). Of course as parents, we dream of our children's futures, but separating our dreams from our children's is an integral phase in "growing up." Yet, not only are some willing to meddle unnecessarily in their children's lives, but also in the lives of their fellow man. I cannot count how many times I have heard "transgender (I used the preferable term, but this is not the word used) people are gay and only want to have more gay sex!" Well, let me argue that point with those holding to such beliefs.
After listening to my classmate pour her heart out, I still had questions. First, I needed to know, are there transgenders born straight that keep their original sex orientation after their transformation? Yes, I googled it and found numerous instances where born-males were straight, but after their transformation identified with being lesbian as they still were oriented to (what was by birth) the opposite sex. There were numerous born-females that did the same. I wasn't done with simply that answer. I needed more information, so I searched for a video of a sex-change operation. I can attest and swear to you, if it were simply the desire to be "extra-homosexual (I honestly am at a loss for words as to how to communicate this idea in some people's minds)," a sex-change operation is by far the absolute worst way to do it! Transformation takes years, and the operation I watched was very detailed. If you are unaware, I am positive homosexuals value their sex-organs just as much as heterosexuals. A sex-change would absolutely be the worst thing someone could do to "get some extra homosexual sex." In my mind it answered a huge question. Transgenders look in the mirror and every morning hope to see their true self. It isn't a "homosexual thing" its a "self" thing.
I do not struggle with this and therefore, in my mind, have absolutely no right to tell someone they can't choose the life they desire. I want no ones perception of how I should live my life to be forced on me. How are we, as a country, still enslaving others with our beliefs? Historically, we humans must always enslave others. We would like to believe we are different and more civilized than generations past, but we aren't. We keep repeating history like a broken record.
I hope my classmate will find a true loving family. The hate she has endured does not show. Love pours forth from her soul. Love for those she has never met and even for those who have cast her out of their lives. I can imagine the freedom she feels finally choosing herself. No longer does she have to stare into the mirror and wish to see someone else. She can now see herself.
**** Most words in quotations were my attempt to explain beliefs of others. In no way are they intended to offend.*****
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