My First 1,000 views GIVEAWAY!

********************************GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!*****************************


I am so excited that my blog hit 1,000 views! I am having a small giveaway of my favorite things! So, "what do I win" you're wondering? This picture shows the items (the greenish bracelet is only there for an example the silver one is the one I am giving away) in the giveaway, they are my current favorites. They are listed below:

NYX eyeshadow Love in Rio trio in En Fuego (brand new sealed in package). The package does not list the color names, but they are a shimmer champagne, a shimmer plum, and a matte blue-grey. I love this color combination for the holidays! Will make a gorgeous smokey eye for the get-togethers and parties.

A small package of Lindt Milk Chocolate Truffles.

A 3 pack of Ferrero Rochere Chocolates

A shambala-bead bracelet I enjoy making in silver beads.

Rules:
1. Entries will be taken for 1 week from tonight 11/16/13-11/23/13

2. Earn 1 entry PER DAY! Comment in the comments section under this post. Not "hey! yo' entry!" Tell me something about your holidays, your "faves" this time of year, etc....

3. Earn extra entries by sharing a post via your chosen social media, not this post, and comment down below naming which post you shared.

4. If friends visit the page and say you sent them, earn another entry! Simply have them write your name in the comments under this post.

5. Follow my blog for an extra entry.

I will tally everyone's entries and enter them into random.org for the drawing. Thanks so much for helping me reach 1,000! I am very excited. I will be posting a youtube video of the giveaway in a couple days, but my CURRENT readers get a head-start and more entries for helping me reach 1,000! My comments do have to be approved by me via email (this is to ensure the anonymity I swore to my mother), so don't worry if you don't see your comment right away. I will probably do them in batches for easier entry tallying!

THANK-YOU EVERYONE! GOOD LUCK!

Extended Perceptions

I have the downright worst virus I have had since the Shingles two years ago. I was running a fever all night, so my perceptions were utterly distorted. My dreams were wild and the slightest noises took on an entire different meaning to me.

My kids were making gingerbread men, blame Walmart for the skip from Halloween to Christmas, and my daughter left some in the oven entirely too long. I must have smelled the smoke and my dreams turned it into a wild scene. I started dreaming the house was on fire and the fire department refused to put it out. They told me I had to put the flames out myself, so they gave me buckets full of vienna sausages! As I would throw the buckets, the vienna sausages would burst into popcorn. I soon realized there were no more flames and my house was intact, but there were easily 1 million vienna sausage-popcorns to now dispose of.
Later in the night, with a fever still, I dreamed I was put in charge of the "world's computer brain." There were men in hazmat suits handing me wrenches to fix the machine and I would look for bolts to tighten. I kept saying "do you realize I have no clue how to fix this sparkling rainbow machine!" They just kept insisting I was the one chosen to maintain the brain and refused to understand I had no concept of what I was doing. I was getting furious the longer this scene went on. I can't remember much else of the dream except my utter exasperation with the ridiculousness of it.

My perceptions were terribly distorted during the "sleep-wake" of my sickness. I remember absolutely nothing accurately from the last 36 hours. This has me once again thinking of my mother and our justice system. My mother is constantly in a torment of the mind, yet the justice system's sole purpose is to get her sane enough to stand trial. If I, with a simple virus, could not make any sense of reality, how is my mother expected to do so? How is it justice to seeks a harsh penalty on a person who was not in their right mind at the time of the crime?

It leads me to believe, some form of our justice system was perverted. Are we confusing "crimes of passion" with "insanity?" My mother has decades long proof of insanity, yet I am told it will be nearly impossible to get her an "insanity plea!" Our court systems have become judge, jury, and executioner of the mentally ill. My mother is ill-equipped to defend herself from cellmates and others looking to take advantage of her medical state. At 60, 5 foot tall, and 97 pounds, she is no match for about anyone, but "justice" must be served so they say. Justice is an idea of course and the severity of justice sought depends on the people and the environment. In my corner is my schizophrenic mother whom I have no right to demand preventive measures for, but when she "breaks" (for lack of a better term) it is my fault and I hear "why din't you do sum'in bout' her?" Then in the other corner, is the rest of the world seeing a crazy-eyed lunatic that needs to be removed from society forever.

Of course, removing her from our presence would be the easiest resolution, but what about her life? Is her life being lived fully? Is "justice" for her being sought? How about others like her? I know I am not the only one coping with this set of circumstances thanks to Google. As a collective group, we need to stand up and say "hey! this isn't ok!" We expect accommodations for the physically disabled and some mentally disabled, yet my mother's group is left "out in the cold." She deserves a life where she is safe, where she is protected from the rest of us. Not in a jail cell and not in the headlines of the "local ignoramus news" labeled "Bonnie" from Bonnie and Clyde.

Raising a Freethinker

Truly, I think it all started with Rihanna's song S & M! She was 11 and simply asked "mom, what does s&m mean?" My first thought, after "oh shit", was "sugar and milk! Say sugar and milk Jennifer! SAY IT!" Of course my mouth defied me and in the most scientific terms I could think of quickly and concisely explained the true definition of S&M. She said "ooooooooo, why would anyone sing about that?" To my relief, that was the very last time we ever discussed S&M.

Since that day, I have chosen to be honest with my children. Of course, I use age appropriate definitions, but I find honesty works well. I also allow them full access to their own souls. Whatever they choose, they are allowed. I certainly do have limits, but so long as they prove it is something they truly want and not something they have been peer pressured into, I permit it. Which leads to my children's religion, or lack thereof.

I do sometimes wish they could be unquestioning sheep, especially when it comes to chores! Choosing the path my oldest daughter has is a difficult one. She is badgered and berated regularly for her atheist un-beliefs. The most disheartening is the misconceptions many have of atheists. My children have very strong moral compasses and both of their parents are happily married to each other. We believe in family, love, and truth. Anything worthy of pursuit, finds its way into our schedule. It is difficult to field some of the more difficult questions and troubling to see our children's struggles, but it makes us stronger as a family.

My daughter surprises me with her steadfast devotion to her pursuit of truth. I often encourage her to "tame it down" a bit. She immediately chastises me with "well you raised me to be this way!" I of course did raise her to stand up and not cower in the face of danger or repression. I have to give it to her, she is brave and amazing!

Peace

We speak of peace often in our society and worldwide; however, do we each understand what peace is? Beauty queens sing it, preachers preach it, and politicians argue for it. It slips from everyone's lips, but we utter a different meaning each and every time. My peace may not be your peace and our peace may have no pieces in our neighbors peace.

I requested other's definition of peace and got a few answers. "Knowing my spouse and children have what they need," and "loving myself" were some. Another believed it unattainable if you were a living human. Others were at peace when their bills were paid or from the satisfaction they felt from helping another person. While all these lead to a comforting end are they peace?

Peace varies from person to person, family to family, nation to nation, all across our earth. Peace is the mountain standing highest for us to see. It has remained steady and claims the character of the most enlightened people. Yet, no one actually knows its true definition.

While we cannot define peace, we certainly can define what it isn't. The neighborhood drunk disturbs the peace, nations destroy another's peace, and all will finally rest in peace. Simply defining the opposite of destroying peace does not define it.

We cannot define peace simply because so doing destroys it! My peace is mine, your peace is yours. Peace has a meaning all its own within the minds of each and everyone of us. We seek it, we fight for it, but only if our own peace is destroyed by another's peace being taken. It is our soul. There is always peace in us; yes, every moment in our lives is at peace. Every moment we live, every dream we create is our peace. When we resist the peace within us, turmoil happens. It is when we fight against our peace that we lose it.

Peace is single. Each piece of another's peace makes the network of peace in our world.

We have long attempted to define this matterless spirit. Each of us shares in this spirit the world and universe over. Yes, we can lose it and also reclaim it. Our peace is us! With our peace, we can come into harmony with one another.

Just as beautiful music takes harmony, so does the network of peace. Our peace is individually different, but the tune from each sings the beautiful harmony. While we cannot define it, we can develop and encourage it. In a world as eclectic as ours, acceptance and encouragement of another is the only way the song can be heard. We may not like each other, we may completely disagree, but the easiest way I can find to "define" peace is: Agreeing to disagree.

This is how I define peace. Certainly, my definition is much different than others expected. Of course, I love moments of tranquility and rest. Love from seeing my family's individual triumphs, but peace to me is agreeing to disagree with another. I do give up my peace momentarily when I humor a loud argument (disagreeing to disagree). I give it up foolishly and regret it when I do. The "path to peace" is quite simply non-action. While I certainly am willing to die for many things and will intervene when necessary, I am giving up my peace when I do. If I give you my peace accept it for the worthy gift it is.

My friends described their peace and most likely think I am slightly aloof, but that is ok. That is why we are friends, we come together in beautiful harmony. Harmony is used synonymously with peace, but these words are quite different. Just as our voices have different tones and pitches, so does our peace. We can fight for our "peace voices" to be heard, but we cannot fight for or against another's peace.

To Close:

While we may not like our neighbor, we are here together. While we may view the world different, it is the same. While we desire different, it is the same. Unity, harmony, and peace are here, there is no way to stop it, you will only destroy yourself. Live your life as you see fit and allow another to live the unity, harmony, and peace within themselves.

Perception, Perfection, and Ease (Part 3)

Finally! I have made it to part three! The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of bad news, guilt, worry, and downright emotional exhaustion! My mother was arrested and is currently in jail. She was released from a mental hospital the morning of September 26th and arrested on 5 felony charges and 2 misdemeanors that very evening. I discovered her arrest by googling her name when she never arrived at her home as was the hospital's release plan! I have run myself through the wringer these last few weeks and am desperately trying to pull myself out of my self imposed punishment. I have beat myself up terribly over these recent events. Unfortunately, my blog has suffered and I have postponed it and mounds of homework. I am in a pit! So, without further procrastination.......I give you part 3!

As I previously stated in part 1, I skipped class to listen to a classmates talk in another class. I am by nature very curious and had to follow. Tonight I read about a young girl at the center of a fabricated battle in California. The young girl is transgender and a right-wing, hate-group claims she is harassing other girls simply through her presence in the girl's bathroom. While I actually have experience in this scenario, I can attest I have in no way been harassed by the presence of a transgender female in the women's restroom. We all go in, get to our business, and get out. Rather quiet and hurried, aside from the occasionally noxious fumes from some stalls causing immediate gagging, in the women's bathroom! As a parent, I would hope my children would in no way be uncomfortable with a peer's sexuality or female/male status.

One definition of perspective is "what is noticed easily." Yes, it is easy to notice my classmate is transgender. She is still in the midst of transition, so yes, one can easily tell her current phase of transformation. I naturally am curious and had so many questions. I also have manners and kept quiet while she spoke. Expecting to hear more "transgender life 101" in her speech, I wasn't surprised by most of it. She began by asking how many in the room were parents; me and two others. I am not naive and know there are parents out there that refuse to accept their children as they are. Many parents cast their children aside for any assumed slight. Many more disown their children for something like coming out as gay, lesbian, or transgender. I could see it in her face. As she pleaded on behalf of any child that may be transgender, her eyes welled up with tears. She explained her fundamental christian family, had disowned her and her brother had gone so far as to get a no trespassing order against her. What struck me the most, was the altruistic love for other's like her. She pleaded with us parents to love our children no matter what path their life takes. For me, this is a no-brainer. Quite truthfully, my children could murder someone and I would assume that person needed killin'!

 Sadly, I am the minority (at least where I live in the south). Of course as parents, we dream of our children's futures, but separating our dreams from our children's is an integral phase in "growing up." Yet, not only are some willing to meddle unnecessarily in their children's lives, but also in the lives of their fellow man. I cannot count how many times I have heard "transgender (I used the preferable term, but this is not the word used) people are gay and only want to have more gay sex!" Well, let me argue that point with those holding to such beliefs.

After listening to my classmate pour her heart out, I still had questions. First, I needed to know, are there transgenders born straight that keep their original  sex orientation after their transformation? Yes, I googled it and found numerous instances where born-males were straight, but after their transformation identified with being lesbian as they still were oriented to (what was by birth) the opposite sex. There were numerous born-females that did the same. I wasn't done with simply that answer. I needed more information, so I searched for a video of a  sex-change operation. I can attest and swear to you, if it were simply the desire to be "extra-homosexual (I honestly am at a loss for words as to how to communicate this idea in some people's minds)," a sex-change operation is by far the absolute worst way to do it! Transformation takes years, and the operation I watched was very detailed. If you are unaware, I am positive homosexuals value their sex-organs just as much as heterosexuals. A sex-change would absolutely be the worst thing someone could do to "get some extra homosexual sex." In my mind it answered a huge question. Transgenders look in the mirror and every morning hope to see their true self. It isn't a "homosexual thing" its a "self" thing.

I do not struggle with this and therefore, in my mind, have absolutely no right to tell someone they can't choose the life they desire. I want no ones perception of how I should live my life to be forced on me. How are we, as a country, still enslaving others with our beliefs? Historically, we humans must always enslave others. We would like to believe we are different and more civilized than generations past, but we aren't. We keep repeating history like a broken record.

I hope my classmate will find a true loving family. The hate she has endured does not show. Love pours forth from her soul. Love for those she has never met and even for those who have cast her out of their lives. I can imagine the freedom she feels finally choosing herself. No longer does she have to stare into the mirror and wish to see someone else. She can now see herself.




**** Most words in quotations were my attempt to explain beliefs of others. In no way are they intended to offend.*****

Perception, Perfection, and Ease (Part 2)

To better understand perception in my own home, I turned to the utter mirror of my actions (drum roll please).......my teenage daughter! There is no denying the brutally honest, no holes barred, often feared opinion of your own teenage daughter! Mine is more like me every single day; I am uncertain whether the world can handle two of me. Time to find out what perceptions are reflected in my home.......

She has decided to shave her legs while we talk. Apparently, multitasking is acceptable in our home.
Our conversation:

Kaeli: OK......what are we talking about!

Me: tell me about perception.

Kaeli: what is perception?

Me: you want Miriam-Webster version?

Kaeli: sure

Kaeli (after Miriam's definition): alright.....

Me: alright, are you paying attention?

Kaeli: I don't believe in perception. I think everyone should be able to "go about" without being judged.

Me: did you understand the definition?

Kaeli: um, yeah, um I don't think you ever asked a question.

Me: I didn't, I made a declaration. You just need to explain your view.

Kaeli: well, it is evil, good, bad, nice... does that sum it up for
 ya?

Me: let's try this a different way

Kaeli: (cutting me off mid-sentence) Ok, what's the next question?

Me: what is your perception of our home? Pretend our home is your only world.

Kaeli: This house is good. We don't get along good and there sure could be a change around here! First, lets get rid of every dish in the house. (I cut her off to explain a little better) She decided we need to improve the way we talk to each other and stop arguing as much.

Me: why do you think arguing is bad?

Kaeli: arguing makes people sad and not want to talk to one another. Lack of communication is what causes arguing.

Me: Let's change a bit. Imagine a couple. The couple are traditional and the husband makes all the rules. The wife must wake at 5 am, prepare and pack his breakfast and lunch for the day, lay out the husband's clothes, wake him up, put his clothes on him, never look him in the eyes, kiss him goodbye and tell him to have "a wonderful day my king." While her husband is at work, she is to prepare a seven-course meal, set the table formally, and clean the house spotless. She is never permitted to choose her own clothes, what will be cooked, whom she will speak to, etc....She also, is never allowed to argue with her husband, she must only accept what he dictates. Now, tell me about arguing.

Kaeli: MEN ARE IN NO WAY SUPERIOR TO WOMEN! I will never ,ever, ever allow a man to do that to me! I will speak my mind! No woman SHOULD EVER allow a man to treat her that way! She should stand up to him! She should leave him!!!!!

Me: you just said arguing is bad.

Kaeli: she should argue!

Me: but you said arguing is bad

Kaeli: But Uhhhhhhhhhh.......

Me: if you don't argue someone isn't expressing their opinion.

Kaeli: OK, OK, OK! Arguing is not bad, non-effective arguing is bad.

Me: I am teaching you perception.

Kaeli: OK fine!

After my experiment. Kaeli explained "it was hard because you got me angry." It changed her perception of the merit of arguing. She mounted her soapbox and stated:
"I have learned, through the compelling evidence you provided, that arguing can be good if closure is reached." Before my "moral story" Kaeli was adamant that we argue a little too much in this house. Yes, we are loud and voice our opinions often and with passion, but sometimes resolutions and concessions are reached. Kaeli said "it was hard to explain my opinion when I was angry!"

When our opinions mix with our emotions, sometimes nonsense comes out! Kaeli kept getting tongue-tied and became more and more angry. When our perception clouds our understanding, we can't make fact-based decisions! I fueled the flames by insisting "how do you know you are right?" She finally decided it truly was just her opinion and not hard fact. She didn't agree women should live that way, but could not give me one fact-based reason it should not be permitted; yet, everyday in the USA we are enslaving and denying the rights of our fellow citizens because of our clouded perceptions. What is "right?" What is "wrong?" Who makes these decisions for our fellow man?

My next post will explain why I had to follow my peer to listen to her speech. My heart went out to her as a woman, mother, sister, and friend. Our perceptions can always be altered.

Perception, Perfection, and Ease (Part 1)

Lately, I have found myself keenly aware of the differences of opinion in our society. More troubling, is the hatred that will pour forth from the mouth of opinion. Perception can be clouded by many factors, but I don't want to cover those in this particular post.

A few nights ago, me and the I Ching again, I was meditating to try to figure out what in me has been very troubled. We are recovering from a rather nasty virus at my house, but the "funk" I was in was more than that. I kept finding my mind wandering to the thought of perception and how two people can be present in the same situation, but see two completely different scenarios. I allowed my mind to wander and I kept seeing different words paired with their opposite: good/evil, happy/sad, right/wrong, etc... It occurred to me that my "good" may be another's "evil." What makes me happy makes others sad. What causes this?

Certainly, environmental factors "cloud" our perception. This "clouding" is inevitable and there isn't much we can do to stop it. If we allow our clouding to become intolerance for other people's "truth," we have extinguished the freedoms we each hold precious. Justice is itself also an opinion. Most things in this life are opinion and we must work to grasp the "reality" of "falsehood."

What do I mean by "reality of falsehood?" In my quest to understand my current mental state, I needed definition. I started with perception and one portion of one definition stood out: to understand or notice something easily. Easily, easy, with ease. Let it sink in. What we notice easily. How many quotes are there throughout time about avoiding the "easy path" or the "easy way?" It is synonymous with being lazy. If we choose to understand and accept only those things we notice easily, what would we miss?

Would we miss the smallest bees pollinating the smallest flowers? Shooting stars? The magical twinkle in the eye of a small child who has experienced something amazing for the first time? What else would we miss? The list could go on. When we only notice the easy things, our reality is false; thus, the "reality of falsehood."

Today, I did something I rarely do. I skipped class! I went to class, took my seat, and pulled out my notebook; then, the woman that sits directly behind me got a call from a professor in the psychology department. The teacher wanted my classmate to give a short speech to her class. I followed her because I had to hear it too.

I will finish this story in part 3 of my "series." I hope to finish it shortly. What is your perception telling you my "shortly" will be?