Truly, I think it all started with Rihanna's song S & M! She was 11 and simply asked "mom, what does s&m mean?" My first thought, after "oh shit", was "sugar and milk! Say sugar and milk Jennifer! SAY IT!" Of course my mouth defied me and in the most scientific terms I could think of quickly and concisely explained the true definition of S&M. She said "ooooooooo, why would anyone sing about that?" To my relief, that was the very last time we ever discussed S&M.
Since that day, I have chosen to be honest with my children. Of course, I use age appropriate definitions, but I find honesty works well. I also allow them full access to their own souls. Whatever they choose, they are allowed. I certainly do have limits, but so long as they prove it is something they truly want and not something they have been peer pressured into, I permit it. Which leads to my children's religion, or lack thereof.
I do sometimes wish they could be unquestioning sheep, especially when it comes to chores! Choosing the path my oldest daughter has is a difficult one. She is badgered and berated regularly for her atheist un-beliefs. The most disheartening is the misconceptions many have of atheists. My children have very strong moral compasses and both of their parents are happily married to each other. We believe in family, love, and truth. Anything worthy of pursuit, finds its way into our schedule. It is difficult to field some of the more difficult questions and troubling to see our children's struggles, but it makes us stronger as a family.
My daughter surprises me with her steadfast devotion to her pursuit of truth. I often encourage her to "tame it down" a bit. She immediately chastises me with "well you raised me to be this way!" I of course did raise her to stand up and not cower in the face of danger or repression. I have to give it to her, she is brave and amazing!
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